Is this normal for me to feel how I do with my situation

My parents denied and tried to change everything to do with me being gay when I was young they beat me for it when I turned 12 it became more mental abuse than physical they went to the point of hiring my friends to be my friends, then to report back to them on anything I had done that was gay or against there will, they burned my clothes if they were to tight, they would banish friends if we got to close, or were caught doing something together, they would remove and books or media from my life that made light of a gay lifestyle, they would constantly ask me hoping I would admit so they could rep-remand me for it. all of this has caused me to feel weird about being gay, and Its made it hard for me to accept myself because my whole life except the last four years (I’m 24 now) I was criticized for it beat for it abused for it and made to feel bad to the point where I’m still dealing with repressed memories that come back all the time of the beatings. I like being gay I like being me it makes me happy but I’m finding it hard to deal with everything I’ve been told/went through in my life and I’m tired of feeling like it’s wrong for me to be gay, have any of you dealt with these issues what did you find helps ??