BF lacks initiative/motivation

I 24F and my boyfriend 23M started dating when we were 19. He is a very compassionate, kind, person and the way he is able to connect with people and his willingness to help others is a big reason I love him.

He is artistic in music and drawing. He’s created pieces I think are absolutely beautiful. He worked a food service job throughout high school and currently works at a restaurant. He struggled with substance abuse issues when we were younger and still occasionally smokes weed and drinks, which is a big reason why he hasn’t tried many, or had the opportunity to be exposed to, new working environments. I also struggled with substance abuse issues as a teenager but that experience launched me into a need for stability and ambition.

I am in the medical field, have been working in healthcare since I was 18. CNA, LVN, and always studying to further my degree, finances, life experiences.

Lately, I’ve been trying to imagine our future together because I suppose planning is a big part of who I am. I know I want to further my career, leave my hometown, invest in my health and travel experiences. He doesn’t think about the future the way that I do, when he does, it’s mostly about what car we will own and what cute older-couple things we will be doing. It’s cute but honestly to me it feels lazy or even noncommittal, unserious.

I talked to him recently about going back to school. I know school isn’t for everybody and it isn’t the only way to have a career, but I’m not sure what would help him other than just going out and experiencing things. He is quite good art art but he isn’t great because he does not invest any work into it, just feelings. He doesn’t know much about many things. Investing, saving, business, trade work, etc.,

I am very worried about our goals and compatibility but I want to help him because he is my partner. Maybe he will grow with me.

I find him quite charming and kind. I want that to be enough for me. Though I have dated more capable people, I have never been best friends with somebody. Not like this.

What can I do to help him grow with me? Or see that there is more to life?

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