How have you handled a breakup with an avoidant? (fearful afaik)
Hey, 24m was in a 1,5y relationship with 20f. She wanted to break up because of distance and her feeling emotional pressure. She now comes to my hometown for studies but said she doesn’t want a relationship for now since she feels inner peace. Relationship was great beside her avoidant tendencies. Since she comes to my town, there is this slight feeling of hope. At the same time, I heard a lot about avoidants. My worst fear is her dating someone else, casual sex etc (she was my first love and I was hers)
How would you handle the situation? Breakup is 3 months in the past , no contact for 1 month now (besides a break because of the new situation 1 week ago). She comes in 2 months to my town.
Still love her, thought she is the one, we wanted to move together which is why she applied to a university in my town in the first place . Wanted to work through her problems, classic case of saving/helping her.
We both have a bodycount of 1, I only want serious relationships, she said the same thing. Feel confused and lost, sometimes I can focus on some stuff, some days I am just feeling awful.
I appreciate any advice (mindset, seeing a future or not etc)
Posted Jul 9, 2026, 7:56 PM UTC