NC complicated situation, just looking for reassurance/advice

16 year relationship, not married, 3 kids. My girlfriend has mental issues but never been diagnosed because she refuses to get help. Her mother and father are severe bi-polar and I believe she has it also, possibly a narcissistic disorder also. 5 weeks ago we seperated, the whole thing started as me simply wanting to talk about some very minor issues, she reacted very hostile to my simple and civil talk, and thanks to me not seeing the signs of a mental episode happening it exploded into her taking the kids, going 280 miles back to the area we just moved from and now she won't allow me to see the kids and she won't talk to me at all.

We moved 9 months ago to a remote part of the NC coast. The move was for her because she had some things happen with her dad, she hates him and wanted to get away from him, so I backed her, sold our house and moved. I really think something in the move triggered her mental issues into getting worse. She has always admitted knowing she has issues with what we think is bi-polar and after a ton of research on how she was acting lately I'm thinking also a narcissist disorder (yes I'm no doctor but I'm an educated person that wouldn't disrespect anyone by just throwing around accusations unless I really researched a lot).

In April we had a fight about her way too quickly becoming friends with another woman and trying to literally jump into bed with her (bisexual encounter). Sadly I wasn't upset about that, I was upset on how she started neglecting her job, her well being, and our household because of diving in so deeply with this person and also very quickly. She took it as jealousy even though I thoroughly explained it was not but in her altered mental state she would not listen to the point. Well that situation exploded from me simply asking why she was leaving 2 hours early to go to work, work is only 35 minutes away, and she was not showing extra hours for being to work early. She told me to leave, which I did but I left walking because my only vehicle was the truck we use to haul the kids, after about an hour I came back and just went inside our barn because I couldn't go back in the house. She ended up calling the police and telling them I said I was going to off myself which I NEVER said, or said anything resembling that, and told them I had a weapon which I did not. I was put on an involuntary psych hold because the girl that she was hoping to get with, her husband is an officer and helped her with what to say to get me put up there (she admitted it to me later).

After leaving the mental hospital I had to follow up with a psychiatrist whom in the 2nd session said she didn't need to see me anymore because she saw no evidence of me having issues, even with the police report and mental hospital reports, she said I should have never been there. So we got through that and for a month and a half our relationship was great, along with almost all of the rest of our 16 years together. But I started having nightmares and flashbacks of the previous incident where I woke up in my barn to 5 police officers with guns in my face and the ptsd from being in the mental hospital and being around serious mental illness conditions.

So I simply went to my girlfriend to talk to her about those issues, but she was immediately combative and hostile for no reason. During the conversation she admitted she used her friends husband to get the proper things to say to get me sent to the hospital, all I said to that was I didn't appreciate her bringing other people into our relationship like that, especially with what it did to me. She immediately went full enraged, throwing her phone at me and jumping in my face saying " I'm not fing cheating on you" in which i replied "I said nothing about you cheating", but in her altered mental state she only heard what she wanted to. I kept trying to get away from her anger and arguing but she started taking it out on our children, that's when I stood up to her and she lost it. She called the police on me twice because I was simply trying to keep her from leaving with the kids in her messed up mental state. She finally left with the children after she threatened them and me with her pistol and because I had laid my phone down during the situation I didn't have it on me to get evidence, so the police wouldn't do anything. I tried to stop her but she left.

She ran to a friends house and is staying there for the past 5 weeks, a 3 or 4 bedroom house in which already has 2 adults and 5 kids and now has 11 people with my family there (showing her lack of ability to make competent decisions for our children). She has no job, no money, and is just staying in that crappy situation. She tried taking out a domestic violence order on my but thanks to her just outlandish and crazy accusations it got denied, we still had a hearing but she voluntarily dropped it after the emergency custody order order in which she used literally the same outlandish and crazy accusations got denied also. Now we have a court date on the 27th for the hearing on the denied emergency custody order. I have a lawyer but I don't trust he has my best interests at heart, he has lied, and is not doing what he said he will do. He was supposed to file for custody 2 weeks ago but never did, so here I am waiting 2 months just to see my children. I'm trying to get another lawyer but I'm having trouble because every lawyer in the area is so busy, this is one aspect of this that scares me.

Now I want to make sure this is clear, even though she has always admitted she thinks she is bi-polar like her parents, her issues weren't bad until after our move, and even then they only manifested a few times, but got significantly worse with each of the 3 episodes, this last one being terrible. But since we moved we knew nobody here and didn't hardly hang around anyone so I'm the only one that has seen the issues. Our relationship was freaking awesome any other time, especially in the month and a half between this current situation and the last. We were acting like 18 year old kids again, she was even sending me nude pics from work the night before this happened and telling me what she was going to do to me when she got home (just showing her mindset was not on leaving and there were no issues).

So she has taken my children, left with none of their belongings. She won't speak to me at all, I barely talk to our kids, and she won't talk to me about seeing them. She has been gone 5 weeks and won't speak of getting her belongings, two vehicles, or the animals she left behind, she literally dropped our 16 year relationship like it was 2 weeks old. She won't speak to anyone other than the people she is staying with, none of our mutual friends, nothing. Like I said she will not speak to me even though I've begged to be civil and even made the 5 hour each way trip 3 weekends in a row in hopes of seeing the kids but nothing. She failed at both the domestic and emergency custody because she has no evidence of wrong doing and her 5 page affidavit was just so ridiculous. She is living in a ridiculous situation when I have an empty 4 bedroom house with all of her and the kids belongings still here. She is putting our kids through hell for no reason other than mental illness.

Now I live for and worship my family. Before I broke my neck and back severely and went out on disability I worked and came straight home. After being put on disability I staid at home with my family all the time. I'm not perfect but I've never done anything to warrant being treated like this. Even on disability I still have the income to sustain our family while being at home with my kids and "wife" (she used my last name on everything she could legally even though we weren't married). She rarely ever worked and I was always the major bread winner, at times working 6 and 7 days a week 12 and 14 hours a day so my family could do what they want and enjoy life. If it weren't for mental issues we would not be in this situation.

Now I've asked my lawyer to put in the paperwork that she needs a psych evaluation and even though I haven't even touched on half of the totally ridiculous things she has done, what I've said here hopefully shows her mind is messed up and her priorities are not on our kids best interest. Hopefully the lawyer follows through correctly but I want him to focus on her mebtal state and hopefully get custody of the kids until she gets help.

So just from what I described what are thoughts on my chances of temp full custody until she gets proper help?

I want to emphasize I don't want to do that to her and traumatize our kids even more but she needs help and is not doing anything in our kids best interest (our kids have been home schooled but poorly by her lately, our oldest is registered in school where I am that starts in August and I need to get our middle child enrolled also, we literally took the school tour for our oldest the day before this situation happened). She literally handed $1600 in next month's rent to our landlord during the argument, just an hour before she left for good.

With everything going on, going from being with my kids constantly to not seeing them in 5 weeks, losing the love of my life in a blink of an eye because of mental issues, I'm unable to bring myself to be optimistic, even though everyone says I have a strong case and chance at getting the kids temporarily. So I'm curious on the opinions from outside looking in. I have not listed everything I've seen to suspect mental illness but I'll list a few more. During mental episodes he never takes fault for anything, blames me for everything, has manic and severely depressive days, sometimes sleeping 12 hours but waking up depressed and tired, I even have a few texts where she says she feels like a shell of a person just going through the motions and don't know why. She claims I have been abusive, even said back in 2014 I shot a weapon above her head in our house, It NEVER happened, and I have a text and court documents stating she told a judge in April that I had never attempted to harm her or the kids, while trying to get a restraining order that was denied for no evidence (during the incident where I was in a mental hospital). She is blatantly lying and making up outlandish accusations over 16 years when there has never been a single police report or even called.

Now for full disclosure I used to have anger issues, but never towards my family, it was more towards people that act crazy on the road and put people's lives in danger, yes road rage but not to the point of doing anything, just yelling and cussing at people and having trouble letting it go, and also made me to where I couldn't control my urge to tell people how ridiculous I think they are. I didn't know it until the hospital stay that depression runs on my mom's side of the family but manifests as anger. As soon as I found out I voluntarily asked for medication and it has been helping me tremendously. I know she will use that against me but even she knows the medicine is working great for me and my anger issues are gone.

Sorry for such a long post, I just want to try and give as many facts as possible to make an educated assessment on my situation. Again I'm just scared to death in the situation, I don't want our kids to be without their mother but she severely needs help and they don'tdeserve to be without me either. I know this isn't the proper thing to say but I do still hold hopes that she gets help and it can help us get back together and help save our family, we both grew up in broken homes so I want to avoid that at all costs if possible and being I know the woman inside of the body the demons have taken over still loves me and wants us. It may never happen but it's worth a try to save.

My lawyer was supposed to file custody 2 weeks ago, even said in court that he was, he didn't. He is not promptly communicating, I was supposed to be in court today 7/9 for the denied DV but he didn't let me know until 5 pm yesterday when he knew I was making the 5 hour trip yesterday, when the emergency order was denied and the voluntary DV was done on Tuesday. I made that trip for nothing. He said yesterday he would draft our custody response paperwork yesterday and have me sign off on it this morning, still no word, takes days to return a call or email if he even does. He doesn't seem to understand my wanting to push hard on the mental aspects of the situation, or at least he doesn't act like it. I'm just not sure of the lawyer.

So opinions on the situation? Thoughts on whether I can finally get my kids on the 27th? Thoughts on my lawyer? Just in general, anything positive to help out my lack of optimism in a terrible situation involving mental illness. Thanks for reading my ridiculous situation.