Unable to imagine life after a set death date

Hi I'm a 20M (not sure it's important) and I feel weird writing this, but I have no one to properly turn to. In October of last year I planned to kill myself on August 31st 2026, a day before I started University.

My main reasoning being that I suffer with diagnosed generalised anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder, and that I struggled so much in school and as a child, the time everyone describes as the "easiest' part, and the idea of all of that being the easy part was absolutely terrifying, and still is. I knew how I'd do it and when.

I spoke to a doctor about it January and was referred a few times, but the British mental health system is awful, so I've yet to see anyone, or get a chance to speak to a proper councillor.

University starts is less than two months. I don't know if I want to go, which has always been the case, I have everything in place so I can, just in case. My parents and many around me are pressuring me to go, or to just make a decision, but I just can't. 

I have this complete indifference to everything past August 31st, like it isn't real. It's like being asked your opinion on an event you won't attend, you feel nothing really for it either way, just that you won't be there. I don't feel actively suicidal anymore, but I'm still living like my life will end that day. I don't know what to do, and was wondering if anyone else has had this struggle, and how they dealt with it.