We got sober together, but now I feel trapped in our relationship.

My (39F) boyfriend (40M) and I have been together for about 3 years, and I don't know if this relationship is fixable anymore.

Some background: When we first got together, we were both addicted to fentanyl. I was working as an escort, and he didn't have a job. He wanted me to quit, but there wasn't another way for us to make money. We broke up a few times before getting back together.

Eventually, he was arrested and spent 6 months in jail. During that time, I went to detox and rehab so we could both have a fresh start when he got out. We entered a co-ed recovery program together, shared a room, and built our lives back up.

About 7 months into the program, he got a job. Two months later, I started working at the same place. We eventually got our own apartment. I've now been sober for about 19 months, and he's been sober for almost 2 years.

Now that we're living together, I feel like our relationship has completely changed. Our daily routine is basically work, come home, and sit on our phones. Anytime I try to bring up something serious, he avoids the conversation.

Our sex life is almost nonexistent. There's very little affection unless he wants sex, and I feel emotionally disconnected from him. He's also replaced drugs with food and eating out, which has become another unhealthy habit.

Lately, he's become more controlling. He tells me he's "the boss of me," and while I can't always tell if he's joking, it doesn't feel funny anymore. I feel like I have very little independence.

I don't know what to do. I feel trapped. I don't have family nearby, I don't make enough money to support myself on my own, and to make things even more complicated, he's technically my boss at work. I also honestly don't know if he would accept me leaving the relationship.

I love him, and we've both worked incredibly hard to get sober, but I'm starting to wonder if we've outgrown each other or if this relationship has become unhealthy.

Has anyone been through something similar after getting sober? Is this something that can be worked through, or am I ignoring some major red flags