End of a long road

My (37m) girlfriend (44f) and I are splitting up.

Tough post to write. From the beginning i knew it wasn't a stereotypical relationship. She was separating from a husband who hit her. She has two boys who at the time were 1 and 4.

We have been together for 14 years. Sometimes a rocky relationship but overall one filled with love and care. I have treated the boys as my own even though being a step dad is a tough job, even a thankless task at times.

Fast forward to last October, her father passed away suddenly, it was tough for all involved. I have tried my best to support and be there but there have been signs of infidelity throughout.

May comes around and her best friend who is by all accounts not a good person, jumps from man to man, is abusive and an alcoholic turns 40. A girls trip is planned to one of Europe's seediest places. I wasnt overly keen on my partner going but it is what it is. First night she is there she facetimes during her son's parents evening, so drunk she can barely speak. Apologises in the morning. All is OK.

Saturday night, first time they all go out to the strip. I message around 2am, let me know when you are home safe. Nothing back. Go to sleep, message again at 9am, hope you had a good night and got back to the hotel safe. Yes me and N got a taxi. 2 min facetime out and about, pretty blunt responses with no eye contact.

Comes home 2 days later, all over me, love bombing and sex every day. We've always been good in that department but never anything like this. Over the top noises and compliments about my performance.

I feel something is way off. Never checked her phone in 14 years. I look at the messages from N. Picture of my partner with an 'i love dick' t shirt on at 2.30am, no big deal. Same exact photo sent to my partner at 8am. Why would that picture need to be sent again if they were lay next to each other in the morning?

Tonight it all blew up, she's left to go to her friends and im sat here writing this post. I know in my gut something happened but I dont want to believe it.

Life is cruel sometimes and we all wish we could undo mistakes and conversations but here I am.