Commiting feels like self love

the thought of putting myself first regardless of what my family, friends or partner say it's reassuring. It's the fact that if I do it nothing will matter and I can be where I'm supposed to be, I can just leave everyone and their mess here, stop stressing about food, money and just anything that comes with living, I've never felt any form of pleasure talking nor helping people, having sex isn't even that good it's just to satisfy my partner, eating and drinking are mere chores just as working and cleaning, dancing is tedius and even more if done with someone else. With this in mind I'm living just because i owe it to my mother but that isn't helping either by this point, can anyone else relate?