insecurity….

I, 20, posted on here a little while ago about a situation at work and how in the end i got called an ugly ass bitch for it (which rewriting it now, i do see a bit of humor in it) but for some reason on this particular morning, i can’t stop thinking about it. My looks were something I struggled with since I was a teenager. I would think to myself why am I not as pretty or cute or hot as everybody else and I still find myself thinking that way.

I think because she called me that, it just feels like it validates what i think? Oh maybe I am ugly!

Which is weird because I’ve gotten called pretty before a few times, but my brain rejects it. Like “Oh they’re lying to make you feel better about yourself” which is????? And then i saw a tiktok last night about how “Oh, you know you’re ugly when they only compliment your hair or eyes.” And I thought to myself…I have gotten more compliments on my hair than my looks.

I know this all looks and reads like a bunch of mumbo jumbo, and i’m sorry about that. At some point it just became a vent 😭 but I need help on how to just be stronger mentally and not let stuff like this get to me.