i’m so sick of everything.

everything i’ve enjoyed has died out. i cant write songs anymore. i don’t sing half as much as i used to. i can’t remember the last time i went outside for fun. even doomscrolling is boring now. life is just boring and terrible. i relapse on sh almost every day. i cried every night for 4 weeks straight because of how alone i feel. i stay up super late so the days are shorter for me and i get to spend less time actually “living” if that makes sense (even though i died like internally three years ago.) it’s 3:31 am right now and i’m awake crying AGAIN. will things ever really get better?