Uncertain... Am I insane? Is this love bombing?

Soooo my (32M) and I (24F) separated last week as a result of my realization that we are living HIS dream life not mine. He is a very stubborn and judgemental man, that is controlling.

Our fights are horrific. Involves him screaming at me, calling me psycho, telling me I'm acting like a child and throwing a tantrum (because I'm crying). Has been so upset he's called me a psycho bitch, or a cunt, or has "faked" phoning the cops on me, when all I did was cry in bed and hyperventilate. Etc.

Every decision he is the deciding factor because he's the "adult" in the relationship according to him because he makes nearly 200k a year. We go on HIS vacations, we listen to his music, we do what he wants, we eat what he likes, the list goes on. Any ideas I have about our life or what we do or where we travel are instantly shut down because they aren't his.

And do not get me started on the fact that anything I do to myself or body he says is "trashy", "unattractive", or "ugly". This includes fake nails, tattoos, and piercings or even dying my hair. But I didn't realize this was control because I just didn't listen to him and did those things anyway.

He has broken my will as a person during many of the fights we've had where I have laid there and begged him to tell me what he wants from me. OR I have absolutely lost my ever loving mind out of sheer fight or flight and have screamed at him to get away from me and leave me alone. (I will make it very clear that I have participated in reactive abuse and I am not innocent)

Anyway, I have begged for therapy for YEARS (we have been together 8 years, married for 3) and this man has gaslit me at every opportunity. He has mocked therapy, made fun of it, says that it's pseudoscience (keep in mind this is what I go to school for), and has outright refused.

So after our several fights this month and continued refusal for therapy, I packed my shit and left the shared home. I told him that I cannot do this anymore and that I need a break from him and that therapy is a non negotiable. We met yesterday after a week of seperation and this man, had flowers waiting for me and a 6 page love/apology letter. He's agreeing to go to therapy, couples and individual therapy, has admitted to being depressed, admitted to being wrong, admitted that he's treated me horribly for years, he's projected his emotions of unhappiness onto me, said how beautiful I am. And how In love with me he is, how good of a person I am, etc.

All I could do was stand there and seethe in anger. And all that came outta my mouth at first was, "after 8 fucking years of me begging!!!! How dare you!!". He held me, said all the right things, apologized profusely, and begged me to come back home. I said no. I cannot abandon what I feel inside because you decided to do the right things for once.

My head cannot wrap my brain around the complete 180 this man has done in a matter of 7 days? Am I being fucking played? I am so angry, and confused, and consumed by guilt because I cannot return the feelings and passion rn. Like it's fucking complete whiplash. Am I insane for reacting this way to him? Am I being the asshole? Is this love bombing? Aghhhhhakkakfldllalaa

I have no idea if I should give him another chance or if this is all fucking baloney.