Death of the matriarch, inheritance and weirdo behaviors.

I’m taking some of my inheritance and going on a weekend vacation after all this. It’s a lot.

First of all, my mother. Ugh. She was estranged from my grandma on/off her whole life. My Uncle was the POA and now trustee/executor and I was named as back up due to his serious health problems, but my mom just inserts herself under the guise of helping her brother. She stresses him out a lot. She stresses everyone out. I think she calls me at least 2x a day about something.

Well, my grandma was pretty mean and confused in these last few years and I chalked it up to being in pain and the disease running it’s course and didn’t hold it against her for the amendments she made to her trust. Turns out my Uncle gets the bulk, the church gets a huge chunk and the rest of us get 5%. This triggered my mom to want to speak to the lawyer that put together the paperwork. Everything ended up being a huge mess as my grandma who usually had everything neat and organized started dismantling everything. I had reached out to my Uncle when it started happening but he blew me off so now he and my mom are getting karma on that front. Anyways, the lawyer was a bitch to my mom and it turns out just the house is in the trust and any property was to be split and distributed between me and my uncle. Cool.

Except that while my Grandma was on hospice and I was helping her with the emotional process of transitioning, my mom raided her house for whatever she wanted. She took photos, an antique gun, and has been on a witch hunt for this supposed diamond. Then some cousin of my grandma’s shows up at her house to get what she wants, but is looking for that gun. The kicker is she sent a card to my grandma saying she can’t come see her because she lives sooooo far away, but literally showed up the next day to riffle through her things while she is dying. Then I have these other cousins that live out of state that ask us to post-pone the funeral because they have a family reunion to attend. A family reunion that apparently doesn’t include our family. Not a single one of these people have reached out to me to offer condolences or anything.

Oh, and then there is my insane sister who moved and blocked everyone. I reached out to her about grandma being in hospice and she had her girlfriend text that if she is still here she will come out since she is already flying out for some fun. Well, she passed and my sister doesn’t care & told her bestie why should she when her grandma hated her??? Not true. Anyways, we needed her info to send the letter for her inheritance & she just had to be so problematic about that. My little sister shut down and wouldn’t reply to anyone at first. Finally got her to respond. But yeah, neither of my sisters are coming out for the funeral. Just collecting their check.

Sigh.

So, I have been working with the church, putting together the memorial video and they are all very nice. The church is paying for the entire service there & it’s such a relief when I had to deal with the mortuary, picking out her plot, designing her headstone and that was a huge mess too. My grandma went to that church for years and has pictures with the pastor’s mother in law. I don’t care that the church is getting a chunk and don’t know why my mom is hyper-focused on it, except it means less money for the beneficiaries? I wish she would just shut it. She got to take whatever she wanted from the house and she took a lot. We’re having an estate sale and honestly, I don’t know if there is even enough stuff to bother.

Now my cousins are asking about a map and hotel accommodations. The service is Wednesday. She passed in June!! She’s been chilling in a refrigerator this whole time waiting on them. Ughh.

I wish my grandma was still here so I could ask her what I am supposed to do with all these people and their opinions. I hope the dress I picked for her to wear in her casket is okay and the pictures I chose. I’ve been crying on and off through out this while everyone else acts so stupid. My grandma loved to travel, so yeah I think I am gonna take a little bit of my inheritance and have a nice weekend somewhere after this is all said and done. I hope my Uncle does the same. My phone will be on SILENT!! Sheesh. 🙄