Struggling with Denial

Just received the awful news that our miracle rainbow stopped growing at 10w5d with no heartbeat after we just experienced a loss at 17w just 4 months ago. My doctor prescribed the misoprostol. It's here with me. I can't bring myself to take it. I'm in denial that maybe they just didn't look closely enough. Maybe the baby is okay. How likely is it that this is a mistake? I'm so afraid to take these pills even though I know logically they're right and my baby has passed. How do I deal with these feelings?