I'm sick of being the victim of my scapegoat family dysfunction -- I've decided at age 54 to be my hilarious, unfiltered, yodeling, creative, curious, intelligent self. Anyone else?

So, I'm 54f and got diagnosed as AuDHD last year. Plus CPTSD. I spent a good chunk of time downing my sorrows in alcohol and thus lost my job. I went no contact with my asylum family 7 months ago, and since it's summer (my season), I'm taking a few months to grow into myself and relearn my five-year-old self. I have a lot of regrets and poor choices, but I'm shooing them away. It's taken a few months to be out in the world with my rescue dog to get the feedback from strangers I always knew was true about me: kind, off the wall, unique, intelligent, a curious conversationalist, a natural denier of proselytising bs, and a person who now sets boundaries.

It's liberating and terrifying and unknown, but it feels freeing. I was dealing with suicidal ideation at the ER a few months ago. I'm so glad I'm no longer in that desperate space to erase myself. I am volunteering at a community garden and taking my dog to group play so meeting people in my comfort.

I wish others to reach the point of letting go of expectations and external validation and truly believing in your own worth and awesomeness.