Feeling sick all the time

I feel sick because of my job.

I look around and it feels like everyone is moving at an insane speed, especially now with AI. People build amazing things, come up with brilliant ideas, understand complicated concepts instantly, and talk about them with confidence. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm struggling just to keep up.

The worst part is that I don't even feel angry at them. They deserve their success. They're talented and hardworking. What eats me alive is the feeling that maybe I'm just not on their level.

I constantly compare myself to people around me and come to the same conclusion: they seem smarter, faster, more creative, and more capable than I am. Sometimes I listen to people explain technical things and I can't even fully understand what they're talking about. Then I sit there wondering what is wrong with me.

I've spent years working hard and sacrificing things I cared about because I believed that eventually it would be worth it. I thought one day I would feel competent, successful, or at least confident in myself. Instead, I still feel small when I see what other people can do.

What hurts is the possibility that this isn't temporary. What if this is just who I am? What if I'm simply average in a world full of exceptional people? What if no amount of effort can change that?

I don't know how to stop thinking about it. It's on my mind all the time. I wake up thinking about it and go to sleep thinking about it. Sometimes I feel ashamed of myself. Sometimes I wonder why life has to be this endless cycle of pressure, competition, and chasing money while feeling like you're never enough.

Has anyone else felt this way? How did you deal with it?