I (20F) cannot handle my jealousy regarding my crush (23M) and i feel miserable.

I (20F) have a friend (23M) and he is very sweet and amazing. I had a very bad mental state and he was very kind and sweet towards me. A little backstory is that i met him on discord on a particular subreddit, where he would roleplay as a character (one which i find very hot). And he had all the charm that i started being attracted to him even during roleplay.

Then a discord server was created around that character he roleplayed as, i joined it. Then i got lucky, we both started talking personally on discord and playing minecraft together. I became good friends with him outside roleplay and it turns out that he is a wonderful, sweet and caring person. Then when he cared about me, i fell for him even more and i developed a crush on him.

Then i started to get very jealous when i saw him flirting with others on the server (in roleplay). He used to flirt with this one girl, let's call her W. I hated the fact she got his attention so easily. I started feeling not-good enough... W was very fun and gave the same energy to him in roleplay. But i was shy and didn't have the courage like W. Maybe that's what he liked about her...

Then things kept happening and i kept getting jealous and getting miserable all the damn time. I hated it. I hated that i let his actions control my mood and worth. I had somehow found out from a mutual friend that he did not like me back, but i had never confronted him about my feelings.

So i got fed up and decided to take some space from him to heal myself. I told him that i had feelings for him. And ofc he didn't like me back (which is okay) and im also really grateful that it didn't ruin our friendship bc feelings aside, i love him a lot as a friend too and I don't wanna lose him. I just want our relationship to be healthy and platonic.

So while taking space, i did some work on myself and i tried to dig deep into my jealousy. It turned out to be a self-esteem issue. I felt like i was losing whatever bond i did have with my friend when i saw him flirting with others (especially W) even if it was just roleplay. It also turned out that i would also get jealous when i saw him getting close to someone else other than me. I would get sad if i saw him texting people on discord while we both were playing Minecraft together etc. I dug deeper and realised that it was again a self-esteem issue as i felt "left out" when he wouldn't give me all his attention or i would feel like he has a better bond with others rather than me.

So even after i realised all this, i... Still get jealous. Now the problem is that i see him flirting or easily giving his attention to someone on the server, i try to console myself by saying things like: "he is free to do whatever he wants, we are not in a relationship", "him flirting with others doesn't erase the bond we both have", "he can do whatever he wants, i don't want his love and attention to feel happy". But... I still feel sad... It's like i shut down my thoughts by these words but the sadness of jealousy? It lingers... And it hurts me in my chest... Idk what to do... I feel miserable. I am tired of feeling sad. I want to move on.

I have accepted that we both will never be together. I am fine with that truth. But I can't help feel sad as i still feel jealous... Please help me.