Looking for honesty on if I am the problem

I (23f) am starting to enter a depressive state. I have been trying to self reflect a lot lately just with a few different aspects of my life. Am I surrounding myself with bad people or am I the problem?

-My mom and my big sister have both passed away 5 and 4 years ago. After my mom passed, some family members seemed eager to set up fundraisers for my dad, sister and I, but in the end, seemingly wanted what money we got, for themselves. A news station came to the house and two of my family members said “sweet” things about my mom but they didnt seem genuine. This is when I cut ties with those people. When my sister passed away, a family member was asking to reimbursed for their round trip to come down for the funeral and then proceeded to steal most of my moms and sisters belongings. I come from a pretty big family but now only occasionally talk to two cousins and one aunt.

-A year ago me (pregnant at the time), my partner, and our toddler moved about 2 hours away and we had some friends offer to help with the expenses, to which my partner accepted. We have so far paid back half of what they lent and are slowly but surely, as money is tight, trying to pay back the other half. A few weeks ago, I invited the female friend out with my kids and I, a couple days beforehand. Late the night before, she texted me saying the water heater bursted and flooded their utility room and would get back with me the next morning after figuring out the plumber due to the emergency. Of course, no worries about it. Three hours pass of the expected time we were supposed to meet up before she texted saying she wouldnt be able to meet up as the plumber just got there. I was only upset about not hearing from her for so long when I was waiting around at home with two restless kids. A couple weeks ago, my partner met up with the male friend, her husband, and asked about the incident saying “is everything okay, I heard the water heater bursted and flooded?” To which the male friend replied “oh no, nothing flooded. We just lost hot water for the day!” Hearing that something the was supposedly catastrophic was indeed a minor fix, really tore me apart. I have since been questing if there is something I did to cause her to make up a big lie to cancel plans

-A childhood friendship died off maybe seven or so years ago but we still followed each other on socials. A couple of years ago when I made the announcement post, this friend reached out wanting to meet up as they just moved back from out of state. After a couple of times of meeting up, I noticed every topic was mostly about my baby. To note, this friends family was like my second family during our friendship. Before my son was born, there were constant comments of letting her mom babysit so I could have free time. After he was born, she was always trying to invite me places. The few times I did, the outings seemed rushed so we could “take the baby to see my mom.” Her mom would always make comments of me and partner getting married before having more kids. She would always be pushy about leaving the baby with her but I would say I couldn’t because I was exclusively breastfeeding. When I was around the whole family, I felt like it was their way of getting their baby fever fix and soon just felt like an incubator. The friend moved out of state again and I have since removed the mom and sister off of socials and my friend now seems distant because I turned down the last outings and hasn’t opened my messages.

-in one of my past posts, it mentioned the way some of my partners family members hurt me multiple times with their comments and actions and I have since cut ties with them. If it will be for good, I do not know yet and still need time. These family members have not seen our first born since he was 6 months old, he is now 2 1/2. When I first talked with my partner about the things his family did for me to push them away, I made it clear (multiple times) that I dont care if they still come over to see our son, but that I would be present. I also noted I am not comfortable with him taking our son over there without me as I believe the saying “disrespect the parent, lose access to the child.” He said they havent come over because they “dont want to cause any tension.” I can tell this is causing strain on my partner but he hasnt really communicated his feelings on it. I have forgiven them but that doesn’t mean I want to be around them for a while if ever especially with how my partner speaks about his upbringing. He has said that he doesn’t think the one certain family member will change.

Things about me that makes me feel like I might be the problem:
-When people are pushy, I tend to shut down.
-I try to ignore my feelings getting hurt by people until it happens -multiple- times, and that is when I close off or push them away.

So again, is it who Im surrounded with or is there something I am doing to create this pattern? What can I do to navigate my feelings?