Is this considered domestic violence, or am I overreacting?

I’ve been with my husband for 12 years (married for 8), and I’m genuinely struggling to know what’s normal anymore. Over the years he’s done things that have left bruises on me. He’s bitten my arms hard enough to leave large bruises, punched my arms during arguments or while “playing,” pinched the fat on my arms to make fun of my weight, grabbed my knees so hard they bruised, and recently kicked me in the shin with steel-toe boots, leaving a hematoma. When I tell him to stop, he often keeps going until I get upset. Then he’ll say things like, “I didn’t do anything,” or tell me I’m too sensitive or that he’s just joking. He also makes comments about my weight, pokes at me until I react, and then acts confused about why I’m hurt. I feel like he enjoys getting a reaction out of me. I’ve noticed that I flinch when he raises his arm, even though I don’t necessarily think he’s about to hit me. Emotionally, I feel incredibly alone. He spends most of his free time gaming, and I’ve spent years feeling like I’m competing with a screen for his attention. I’ve tried talking to him so many times, and things improve briefly before going back to the way they were.
The hard part is that it isn’t bad all the time. We still have good weekends. Sometimes he’s thoughtful, buys me things, or is genuinely kind. That’s what makes this so confusing. I keep wondering if I’m making a bigger deal out of it than it is. I also know I’m not perfect. Early in our relationship I cheated, and I carry a tremendous amount of guilt for that. Sometimes I wonder if I’m convincing myself I deserve this because of my past mistakes.
So I guess my question is… is this domestic violence? Emotional abuse? Both? Or am I just being overly sensitive? I’m not looking for people to attack him. I honestly just want outside perspectives because after so many years, I don’t trust my own judgment anymore.