Praying for a mercy denied.

I won't stay for long but, considering my whole conundrum with SNAP and, at the moment, Medicaid, on top of whatever prayers I seem to utter being left on "read", it would be a mercy to die and God denies me that mercy.

Why the creator sent me to this existence but, certainly, it couldn't have been out of "love" and, considering my worsening conundrums, it's likely just cruelty. I'd rather He just take me and leave it at that, as I should have been either aborted or sent here as a stillborn.

Please, do not bother with the resources (as they are useless).