Night time Thoughts

It infuriates me when I think about my future, how I feel demotivated to study coz in end I might end up in a marriage or when I feel like I will study but still am not able to land any internships or job positions without referrals. Why is it a single person with no desire to have connections in order to land a certain position is not allowed but another is becoz of their connection. Not their skills but bcoz of their referrals.

This world's so unfair, it makes me feel so disgusted,

study is mainly pushed to make yourself look like a award to the family. This award is then showcased, and the best one gets the hang of it.

Makes me wanna vomit thinking about that the end result is same no matter which road I took and I don't want that for myself.

There's no suitable partner even if I were to choose for myself, they always end up being too much in my personal territory, too hung up on their family, want housewife, false ideologies, child bearing, flaunters, controlling and so on...

I don't like them, i also don't wanna end up in a pact with a stranger within months of meeting either, I just wanna be in peace with nobody but us in another space living in peace and contentment far from everyone. Shit