Am I doomed or smth?

It’s my first time here so I’d like to say that none of what you are about to read should be interpreted as judgmental or said with the intention to shame any sort of lifestyle.

I am a guy (29), I live a healthy lifestyle, great career, do sports, interested in many topics (cultural, political, arts).
I get compliments from guys that I thought were way out of my league, frequently. I’m what usually is called a “masc”, or straight passing even if I think the term is quite stupid and intensifies prejudices towards gay men ( as if gay is an attitude and behavioral traits instead of the fact that you just have sex with same sex people).
I tried checking if all of this was internalized homophobia, if I only act like I do to distance myself from the stereotypical gay way. Turns out I’m just like this.

I had my share of dates, hookups, dating apps usage. A few connections that lasted longer but never made it to be a relationship.
I made peace with my sexuality a while ago and so far tried my best to not be my biggest enemy when it comes to enjoying life without suppressing my own needs, emotions, desires.

I grew up thinking that once I come out everything would be sorted out, solved.
Moved abroad thinking that would bring me more freedom to engage with my sexuality. And partially, it did.
But I also faced some things that I wasn’t expecting. So here you have a few questions:

-is the gay life all about sex? Do you also feel that there’s an oversexualisation of everything in the gay life? Or are the rest of the people just suppressing it?

-Is it possible for gay people to stay in a closed relationship? Or are closed relationships limiting your desires?

-Are people on dating apps really just looking for sex or is that just a way of not engaging in anything more deep?

-Is it possible to have a “just sex” dating life and not feel void?

-Do you guys lack intimacy and engagement?

-Can all of this “wild” behavior be linked to the fact that most gays starts to express their sexuality later in life so this comes as a “late adolescence” that lasts forever?

-I feel attacked by the attitude of some guys (at the gym or in nightclubs) when I politely say I’m not interested, at the same time I feel rejected often. Even though I am not clingy or connect too fast, I feel that all the guys are just very superficial and less “human” than I expected.

-Also, it’s crazy how much people are obsessed with physique and dick size. ( I have a nice body from training 6 times per week consistently for years. My dick is 18cm so it’s above average). Still, I’ve felt diminished many times for not carrying a monster schlong and for not being on steroids.) is it all porn and social media effect?

Share your thoughts with me guys.
Thanks