All the pain and trauma has no value, does it?

So many years. All it did is take up my time energy and sanity while he gets to walk free, live his life exactly how he wants to, keep escaping, keep using, keep charming everyone, no one will know about this and I’m the only one who’ll carry it with me even if I don’t want to. And I’ll go to my grave with it. And it won’t make a difference. The harm caused, staying for so many years, seeing in the good in him till the last moment- no use at all.
How will it just get better? There’s a massive hole left in my mind and life upon realising it was all a lie.