What should I do with my relationship,m

Hey Guys,

I need some relationship advice. We are in a bad spot.

Story: Me (24M). She is (22F). We have been dating for over two years. We had a good honeymoon period or Butterfly period whatever.

In 2024 August I was supposed to go for Masters in US but I backed out at last moment & my life fell apart from there. I couldn't get a job for over a year, tried working in my dad's business but he & I had a fallout. Later I got a job, it's not paying well but I thought it's a good start. My family is also not that great financially, we had our ups & downs. I'm saying all this because it's an important part of the story.

Since Aug 2024, you could say I was in a depression state, my only plan which was me going to US didn't pan out the way I thought it would. It was a downhill from there. I'm a guy who feels like if my life is going okayish with respect to finances, I'd be fine. If not I don't know I just couldn't deal, there's a cloud always on my head. This leads to not being expressive, not being in the moment, feeling guilty if I'm having a good time with my girl. There's always something about that going on in my mind. That being said given my situation, I think I'm doing okayish in relationship, if things were a bit nice I'd be in present & enjoy my time wholeheartedly. Sometimes I'm forgetting how to love.

Cut to this year, I learned a bit about dealing situations & emotions. I'm slowly learning to enjoy my time with here when ever I meet & do something so that she wouldn't feel bad. The problem is she is a different person, she wants me to jump on her, kiss her, talk to her, think about her, only think about her all the time. She says Why are you not well most of the times we meet, I'm telling her that listen my interview didn't go through, situations in my home are a bit difficult, I'm unable to land another job. I'm starting to feel helpless again. But no, she wants me to smile, say something only she wants to hear, quotes like if you wanted to you would. Here's a situation, it was my birthday & I told her in the morning that my interview didn't go well & I'm feeling depressed, I just don't know what to do. She brings me okayish gifts & I was happy genuinely, but she was expecting some grand reactions, shaker & protein bars are great gift & I smiled but she was disappointed I didn't give reaction she wanted. She said she has some issues with her being lonely in college. Fine

Everyday we are fighting about something, she just points out everything she didn't like & make a fuss about it. I'm a guy who likes my personal space & think that even if we don't talk for a day we'd be fine. I feel peace is more important to me than anything. I sleep at 11:30, she wants to talk, my day is jampacked with things to do & by the time of 11, My eyes starts to get itchy & I just want to doze off. But she is disappointed that I'm not talking.

I'm still planning for MBA abroad & she doesn't have any plans of her own to study again. There's a chance we might do Long distance if we will be together, she talks about marriage & how strict her parents are. Although she is okay with getting married late but she can only stop them till age 25. I'm planning my studies in 2028, I'm sure shot that I want to do an MBA in US. This doesn't align with her marriage deadline & me studying & landing a job. I'm shit scared of marriage, having seen my dad's extra marital affairs & my financial situation I know that I can't get into marriage quickly & I'm not sure how to deal in marriages. I don't know what to say here. I'm currently not seeing any future with her.

Keep in mind that she is very understanding but having seen all, I think that she doesn't live up to her promise of understanding. She says I understand your situation but then next day she'll say why didn't you smile at that particular moment.

I know I have some issues too & I'm trying to figure it out. I think that we are not compatible anymore, growing up responsibilities didn't grow on me, I'm still a kid at heart. I have a few issues to deal with. Handle my emotions, change my perspective on my life. Guys I really need advices & suggestions. Need some outside perspective.