TW [Fictional Rape, Fictional Violence] An experience in RDO changed me and I don't know where else to talk about it

I was playing RDO (Red Dead Redemption Online) yesterday and was running missions as one does when I was attacked by a full posse (team) of players, they were all male and using proximity chat, yelling stuff like "girls shouldn't be playing this game" and "get back to animals Crossing you whore" then they started attacking my character, usually I let PvPers kill me then parlay since once you do that they can't attack you for a while, but before they did they hog tied me, laying me on the ground and then stared crouch moving on top of me, that looked like they were thrusting into me, and I knew that's what they were doing, since they were calling whore and slut over and over and made sounds like they were finishing in me (I'm assuming they thought I had chat off) then once they were all finished they took turns beating my character till I hit zero and had to respawn, But something about that just felt good, I don't know why, so when I respawned, I just respawned normally, they chased me down, and did it again, and we went back and forth over and over.

I'm not sure how long for, but it felt really good for some reason. I'm posting here since I've been kind of lurking here and don't really know where else to post this. But fuck it felt so good for that to happen to me, I wish I had added one as a Friend so they can do it again. But believe me, it is making me rethink parts of me I haven't thought about in a long time

(Reuploaded because I messed up the TW tags)