AIO for not punishing my son for getting arrested?

My son is 15, generally a good kid. Of course the teen years have been a little rough. Nothing crazy, just pushing back on things, trying to be edgy and stuff.

He’s been hanging out with some not so great friends. I’m not a fan of them either, but my wife in particular has gotten into a few arguments with him about who he hangs out with.

Yesterday we get a call from a police officer saying our son has been detained. Apparently he was with a larger group of teens who were causing a disturbance in public. A fight broke out, some personal property was damaged, etc.

My son was put in handcuffs and detained for a while with a bunch of other teens while the cops sorted things out. Apparently they determined my son wasn’t an instigator or really involved in the incident even though he was with some people that were. The officer said a few people were arrested but they were willing to let him go if a parent came and got him.

So I (dad) went. He was in cuffs in the back of a police car. It was hard to see. He was crying. The cop let him go and he immediately hugged me and said he was sorry. I spoke to the cop for a minute and then we left.

On the drive home I asked if he was hurt or anything. He said no. I told him I was really disappointed in him. Told him he was lucky he didn’t end up in jail and if this was really what he wanted out of life, just being obnoxious and causing a ruckus and accomplishing nothing. He said he was sorry and cried the whole way home.

He shut himself in his room when we got home. I checked on him before I went to bed. He was just lying on his bed crying. He told me he was sorry he was a terrible son and asked me not to hate him. I told him I still loved him, I just wanted what was best for him.

He asked if I was going to punish him. I told him I’m just glad he’s safe and let’s not worry about that right now. The next morning we get up and he’s unloaded the dishwasher and cleaned up around the house and made us breakfast and said he was going to go mow the grass now if that’s okay.

My wife gets mad at him and says he thinks he can cry a little and do one nice thing for us that he should’ve been doing all along and that we will just forget about everything. She says she’s taking his phone away forever and he’s not leaving this house for the rest of the summer.

She said she’s tired of his attitude and he’s going to get himself k-lled if he keeps on like this and it’s time he has some real punishment to set him straight. She takes her plate of breakfast and throws it in the trash and says his sucking up to her isn’t going to work. He ends up going to his room crying.

Then I get into a little argument with her and say I really feel the handcuffs made it real for him and really made him reconsider his ways and he was pretty upset last night and I feel that was punishment enough and we should just see how things go. She says if we keep letting this go something even worse is going to happen. AIO?