The addiction no one talks about....Why we can’t stop craving approval

A little thought for today.

why do we need other people to approve of us so badly? Even when we know we should validate ourselves, there’s still that itch to hear, “You’re doing great,” or “I see you, I value you.” And when we don’t get it? That doubt creeps in.

It’s wild when you think about it. Logically, we know external validation shouldn’t define us. But psychologically? We’re wired to seek it. Humans are social creatures..our brains are literally designed to seek approval because, for most of human history, survival depended on being accepted by the group. Feeling excluded? That wasn’t just rejection; that was a death sentence back in the day. So yeah, this runs deep.

But here’s where it gets tricky. When you rely too much on external validation, you give other people control over how you feel about yourself. If they praise you, you’re on top of the world. If they don’t, suddenly you’re doubting everything. That’s a dangerous cycle because you end up chasing approval rather than building real self-worth.

Self-validation, on the other hand, is like an internal muscle..you have to strengthen it over time. It’s about being able to say, “I’m proud of myself,” or “I trust my own judgment,” without needing a round of applause to confirm it. And the more you do it, the less dependent you become on whether or not people give you that stamp of approval.

Any thoughts?