I 28M thought we had a future together but she blindsided me with a breakup after a year and now Im seeing it as the push I needed

Hey Reddit throwaway for obvious reasons. Ive been lurking on here for a bit while processing this and I figured writing it out might help.

Buckle up it’s a long one.
We met at my brothers wedding last year. We danced together that night and sparks flew instantly. She was very adventurous into scuba diving and hang gliding. Within months things got serious really serious. We had an adventurous relationship but lived two and a half hours away.

Families got involved we were talking long term stuff like moving in together and building something real. She was close with my sister in law too which made everything feel intertwined.

We had our issues like any couple. She was dealing with quitting her dads tile business and some big move plans that stressed her out. I brought up a milestone timeline in a hotel room and thats when I first saw her avoidant side. She walked out the hotel room but came back in. I asked to look into houses and a career path she wanted and to quit her dads role in the company. Still we powered through the rough patches. Or at least I thought we did. Our sleep schedules never quite synced. And yeah our sex drives were mismatched I have a pretty high libido and communicated that openly but it became a point of tension.

Then out of nowhere around mid June she hits me with lifestyle differences and ends it. No real warning even though wed just been talking positively about the future. I was blindsided. Felt like the floor dropped out. She talked to my sister in law after. Sister in law was supportive when I called her in shock and later shared updates. Ex is off to South America for travel scuba diving work says its for the best misses companionship but doesnt want a conventional relationship or marriage right now. Hopes we can be in the same room someday without it being weird.

Ive spent the last few weeks replaying everything. The attachment stuff hit hard Im mostly secure but probably have some avoidant streaks.

Shes got that dismissive avoidant pattern hot cold hyper independent deactivating when things get close. Toward the end I was even tempted to step out which tells you where my head was at. Not proud of it. I felt like I didnt deserve the sudden end after all the reassurances.
But heres the thing as the dust settles Im realizing this might genuinely be for the best.

She was clear she doesnt want kids and thats a non negotiable for me long term. It was a good experience intense and growth oriented but ultimately a distraction.
If youve been through a sudden breakup where everything looked solid on paper but the foundation was cracking how did you reframe it? Any advice for not letting the what ifs eat you alive? Appreciate the read if you made it this far.

TLDR Year long serious relationship ended abruptly over lifestyle differences. Blindsided at first but now seeing incompatibilities kids sex drive independence styles that make it a blessing in disguise. Time to move forward.