I'm held to higher moral standards than most, which hurts me (CW: Rape & Abuse)

For pretty much my entire life, I've tried my absolute best to be kind, and maintain a positive relationship with everyone I come across, regardless of their personality. Despite this, nearly every single person I meet seems to absolutely despise my existence. I don't just mean they hate me, I mean they are repulsed by the fact that I'm still alive. Like, I've been bullied, insulted, had my experience as a rape victim invalidated, had people deny I'm neurodivergent at all, physically assaulted, and put through several forms of abuse. I don't know why, but people seem to expect me to be absolutely flawless. When I can't hold in my frustrations anymore and vent, people think I'm a toxic person who doesn't deserve love. When I say or post something in a way I didn't intend to, other users call me a monster. Hell, even my own father chastises me for making a simple mistake.

This also extends to my special interests among stuff that have allowed me to cope with my trauma, some of which are viewed by many as 'problematic' or 'offensive'. The thing is, I'm aware that some of the media I love isn't for everyone, and has some problematic elements and creators involved. But because of how much they mean to me, helping me through some of the worst times of my life, I can't hate them, but I still get crap regardless. I can't change what I like versus dislike, those are things mostly out of my control. I even recall someone saying that I give autism a bad name because of how weird and 'cringe' my interests are.

Meanwhile, there are people who're actively hurting others with the intent to harm, yet in public, I've rarely seen them get called out. Online, see people defend these jerks, or even join in. So why is it that I'm treated like an irredeemable monster for things I have difficulties with, yet genuinely bad people get away with their bullshit?

The worst part, is that there are times where I genuinely believe I'm a bad person, that I am undeserving of love, life, or being happy. I've cut myself out of the belief that I was born evil, and that nothing I do can make up for that. As I'm writing this post, I still believe I am not a good person.

I don't know, am I in the wrong here, am I just being sensitive, do others have valid reasons for hating me?