How to deal with fellow autistics?

As an autistic, I understand that autistic people are often treated badly and misunderstood in social situations. People misread autistics as cold, aloof, impolite, etc. when in reality autistics don't always intend to be that way, they just can't express emotions/intentions in the same way that allistics do. And thus we, as a society need to be more patient with autistics and we must not assume the worst of what they say because we might be misreading it.

However, I am finding it extremely difficult actually doing that in practice. A lot of the fellow autistics that I talk to often say incredibly offensive things on occasion, possibly unintentionally. Usually nothing NSFW offensive, more like they're casually rude/critical. I get that this is likely a natural result of the disorder because they cannot read the room or understand how their words would look from another person's perspective, so many of them likely don't intend to come across that way. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with and there are many times where I'm not sure if they're unintentionally offensive or intentionally being mean.

Whenever I get offended by autistic people, I try to be calm and ask direct questions to discern their intentions to see if I'm misunderstanding them or if they are just genuinely a rude person. I try to be blunt and direct because the autistics that I've talked to are also blunt and direct, and I know that many autistics will not understand me if I am not blunt. However, talking to them directly about these misunderstandings also seems to frustrate them; it's only human nature to not want to be called out or questioned. But if I'm not blunt enough, they really, really don't get what I'm trying to say. It feels like a lose-lose scenario; either I'm blunt and they get offended (despite them being blunt too) or I'm not direct enough and they never understand they offended me and I grow resentful of them in silence.

I'm at a loss at what to do here. I'm finding it harder and harder to be patient and to give others the benefit of the doubt because this stuff keeps happening with various autistics I've met over the years. But as an autistic, I also empathize with their perspective because I've probably been there too. I'm trying to support autistics and champion autistic rights in my local area, but it's difficult when dealing with autistics means dealing with situations like this. What should I do?