When the time comes to get to this topic I don't think I can

I have posted here recently that I'm only a few sessions in. It's going alright, I like my therapist, she is nice. This last session was more of what I expected therapy to be... how did you feel when... etc. It got me to think.

I made this post several months ago... many of the comments suggested therapy (I blew it off at the time, but it might be what pushed me to make contact in the first place...)

Anyway I don't really know what to do. I'm 100% not ready to talk about this, but the same thoughts are still there, and she is attractive which does not help and wears shirts with bare shoulders... she's going to be so grossed out and freaked out and just tell me to leave, then all the work I will have done to the point I have the nerve to bring this up will be for nothing... I feel so trapped right now. I'm actually thankful I don't have the courage to bring it up yet. I don't know what I'm going to do.