Beyond overstimulated...

37F mom of 6 (5-15). Married to 40M for 17 years. My husband works full-time. I stayed home up until about a year ago, but work for the local school, so have the summer off.

*Please, before you simply bash me on how many kids we have, make comments about owning TVs, birth control, etc... I've heard it all. It isn't helpful. Nothing I can do to change how many we have now.*

I find myself beyond overstimulated. I spend most of my time yelling at my kids. They do not listen, they don't help. It's a constant battle. I'm moody all the time. Either depressed or just... ragey. And I hate it. I'm on antidepressants and anxiety meds, but they don't really seem to touch what I'm feeling.

I love my kids, but I simultaneously cannot stand to be around them. What the hell is wrong with me? I hate myself for feeling like this. I just want to be alone...