Me 23F and my boyfriend 22M have been in a relationship for 4 goin on 5 years all through college. I feel unwanted and expected to do everything.

The first thing that’s been bugging me is that I’ve been expected to take on most of the house work. We have really haven’t had a conversation about it but I’ve ended up doing the cooking, dishes, sweeping, vacuuming, the laundry, most of the general tidying up and I work all day and he takes online classes and this summer it’s 2 before he graduates and all he does is the litter box and trash more often than I do. Like I I’ll do all the chores when I see they need to be done and he just doesn’t. It just feels unfair to me. He never wants to leave the house and do anything and I just feel like I’m rotting away. Like I guess I don’t need him to go but what’s the point in having a boyfriend- he’ll go to one bar regularly and I still need to encourage him.

We recently had a bit of an argument about it when he asked me to help him do the trash and litter and he basically thinks he dose everything in the house so I snapped back asking him when was the last time he swept, moped, did the dishes or laundry was and his response to yell at for not folding and putting the laundry up every time so I yell back that I’m too tired from doing the rest of the chores after working all week, in special education mind you. Nothing against the kids it’s just exhausting work both emotionally and physically.

And second the point that I feel is starting to be a make or break point in the relation ship. I feel like he doesn’t want to get intiment with me how I want to be. I will peg him every now and then but it’s not my main thing that I enjoy doing. I feel like he doesn’t want to go down on me and only wants me to peg him. And I feel like I have to beg just to get some mediocre intercorse, but he seems genuinely disinterested in it and in 4 years I’ve been fucked like 5 times and it’s so short and he only hits the right spot for like maybe a min or even a few thrusts and then it’s just like :/ I just want him to be like responsive to my body language. I feel like I’ve never been prettier and never been so unwanted. Also this feels important to throw in because it makes me feel disrespected- he always wants to pinch my nipples and every time I’m like hey don’t do that especially not as the only thing I need some foreplay and rubbing and he still just pinches them like he can’t control it and its frustrating. Recently he has been a lot more general but I feel like I shouldn’t have to ask so much. We’ve talked about it a little bit and he might be ace but he’s attracted to me but I’m the only one he’s wanted. I don’t know at times I feel manipulated and maybe I’m too close to the situation to see things.

Yesterday I was going out to pick something up and I had a hoodie on and my shoulder was showing and a bra strap and he’s like telling me to cover up cause he’s concerned for my safety. Like he’s never said anything like this to me in our relationship so far so I was taken a back. Like even if it comes from a place of protection it’s still coming from misogyny. Like I’ve been living in this town just as long as you have - it’s a suburb - I’ll be fine driving my car with my shoulder exposed.

Worry is because my support group is really him and some of his family as I have a very fragmented relationship with family and little close friends- just a lot of distance and I’m bad at meeting new people. Especially concerned because I took a job down south where he’s from and if we break up I’ll have no place to live clearly set up and know no one there so I’m kinda hesitant about all that. I just don’t know what to do. Like I want to fix things with him but I can’t lie and say I haven’t thought about cheating on him. I haven’t cause it’s wrong but like I feel that’s the most telling part of this all. Like I would be open to an open relationship but I don’t think that’s this vibe. His vibe is more puritanical not like crazy but bikinis make him uncomfortable. And I’m more of sometime breasts are the outfit typa girl. Part of me feels like I’d gain a better sense of self and freedom if I broke things off with him. And part of me feels like I don’t want to hurt him and leave him but then am I making that choice for me or for him and I’m unhappy because I keep making choose and excuses that favor him. I don’t know what to do or even think honestly.

TLDR : Not sure if my boyfriend and I are still compatible. He doesn’t seem to want to go down on me and I do way more of the chores. Can we save our relationship and work through this? Am I wrong to want to break up with him? At times it feels silly to me and other times it feels so important.