Worst Decision of My Life..🥀 Am i right or wrong here?

This happened last year.

I was scrolling through IG and saw my old classmate (let's call her K) and OMG she was lowkey gorgeous. Back when we were in the same class, she was the nerd girl with social anxiety and had problems talking to people (or at least that's how I saw her). I was kinda the clown of the class, and I even remember arguing with her friend group over a fan whether to keep it on or off. 🙂

So I stalked her profile, kept going back to it, and slowly developed a crush on her. I finally DMed her. We had a dry convo for a few days, but idk how, we suddenly started talking day and night. Within a few days I was completely hooked. Man, what a girl she is. I never expected I'd fall for her. I loved every single thing about her.

It was during my downfall period. I wasn't doing well academically, got into a much stricter environment, and every day I'd take a 15 minute walk to a nearby stadium just to talk to her on voice calls. This went on for around 2-3 months.

Now comes the part that made me do the fuckup I still regret.

I had only recently moved on from my previous relationship (with A) and, honestly, I wasn't that into K at first. All those dramatic lines I wrote above are my current feelings. Back then I just genuinely enjoyed talking to her. Idk if this is the right way to put it, but K helped me forget A. My relationship with A was also an LDR (6 months, my longest till now 😭), and this one with K would've been an LDR too.

We used to flirt jokingly, and I had a feeling she was into me. Then one night happened. Idk... the energy was just different. We got really intimate through texts. It was a complete emotional rollercoaster. Every time we'd say goodbye, one of us would start another conversation, and this happened like 2-3 times. Finally, she confessed.

At that moment I genuinely liked her, and without thinking much about anything else, I opened up too. Just like that, we officially got into a relationship.

A week passed, and I realized I wasn't reciprocating the same energy anymore. The fugging DISTANCE kept bothering me. It reminded me so much of my previous relationship. I started questioning whether I got into this relationship just because of that one emotionally intense night.

I came to the conclusion that maybe I wasn't really into her. I thought maybe I just needed someone during my worst phase.

I didn't want to leave her because that would've meant I used someone to move on and then left. But staying while not being sure of my feelings also felt wrong. It was stressing me out.

So in my mind, both options were wrong.

1. Stay with her despite not being sure about my feelings, eventually hurting her even more later.

2. Leave early before things got even deeper.

A few days later, she told me she was feeling helpless and overwhelmed. She didn't know how to handle all these feelings in an online relationship with no certainty that we'd ever meet.

That's when I thought, "This is it. This is the right time."

I convinced myself that breaking up would actually be better for both of us. We'd only been together for a few days, so I thought it'd be easier to move on now than months later.

That was the mistake.

She completely broke down. She couldn't believe what I was saying.

We broke up.

Even after that, she wasn't doing well. I can't even describe the mental pain she went through. I genuinely cared about her, so I still talked to her and tried to help her move on. I even put up with her insults beacuse i deserved them.

Months later i realized i just couldn't move on from her It wasn't because of that late night conversation it was something real that i had only understood after losing her.

So I went back I apologized and proposed again

I literally begged her to come back and told her I'd commit to an LDR despite all the problems because I just wanted to be hers

And guess what? Now she had moved on

She was the one explaining to me why an LDR is a bad idea and why she couldn't do it

I guess I deserved this heartbreak

It's been a year since then...and I still love her

TL;DR: Saw an old classmate on IG, developed a crush, talked for months, got into an LDR after an emotional night, panicked because of the distance and my unresolved feelings from my previous relationship, broke up thinking it was the lesser evil, watched her go through hell because of it, realized months later that I actually loved her, tried to get her back, but by then she had moved on. It's been a year, and I still can't move on.