I'm a 31-year-old man, and I need to share something that's been sitting heavy on my chest.

Since I was 10 years old and first discovered Japanese culture, I've felt an inexplicable pull toward this country — not just an interest, but something closer to a calling. At 29, I finally made it happen: I moved there and lived for a full year. It changed me in ways I'm still processing — opened doors within myself, touched something in my own spirituality that I didn't know was there.

I should mention: my connection to Japan goes far beyond anime, which is how I first discovered the culture as a kid. While I was living there, I got a full traditional tebori tattoo covering my torso, hand-poked the old way. I practiced Battōdō (Tameshigiri, sword-cutting martial art), and I bought an authentic katana over 400 years old, along with a traditional Noh theater Hanya mask. This isn't a passing interest — it's something I've built my life around, physically and spiritually.

I also stopped to pray at every single temple I came across — every time, without exception. I really need to mention this because it wasn't just a gesture, it was real. Every time I was in one of those places, I felt this pull to pray, to connect. It was strong, almost impossible to ignore.

I want to be honest about something too: I know it's common and normal to feel a kind of depression coming back from such a big trip, and Japan in particular seems to affect a lot of people this way. I'm not the first person to go through this, and I know that. But what I felt there went beyond that adjustment period — I have never in my life felt as good as I did over there. I'll admit I wasn't fully happy every single day (there were some logistical and relationship-related things going on at the time), but overall, I felt truly at peace. It was more or less the first time in my life I had the feeling that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

I came back about a year ago. Since then, not a single day has passed without me thinking about Japan. It's not nostalgia — it feels unfinished, like a chapter that's still open. I want to go back, maybe even live there again, but I don't know how to make it work logistically. I'm actively looking for ways.

Here's the part that's been on my mind: a medium once told my ex-girlfriend (the same woman I moved to Japan with) that in a past life, I was a Japanese woman — and that this was the root of my deep attachment to the country and its culture.

So my questions for this community:

Do you think this connection will endure? I already have every intention of going back to visit soon. But beyond that — will I end up living there again someday?

And more fundamentally: is it actually plausible that I really was this person in a past life? Is there a way to know, or to get confirmation of this, rather than just taking one medium's word for it?

Would love to hear your insight.

A past life reading said I was a Japanese woman in a previous life