New and Overwhelmed

Please be gentle with me...im embarassed and nobody to share it with in real life.

Im new to Army and BTS. My mother has been a huge fan for years but I didnt really pay attention at all, generally rolled my eyes whenever she mentioned them lol

I went with her to the concert in London this week and I cant get over it..cant get over them. I found it so uplifting and was just feeling like life was good again. Im not young, im in my 40s but have spent the last 14yrs getting out of a violent relationships and raising my kid alone. I've totally given my life to my child, tried to keep a roof over our heads and just get through life however I could.

So here is my problem, I has such a spring in step this week after the concert. All of a sudden I remembered all the possibilities in life, hope returned. I had the realisation that I've functioned ok for 14yrs but I've not lived, I've not been happy, I've not done anything for myself. In real life, outwardly at work etc I may look happy and successful but its been a mask.

I now have what I can only describe as a "come down". I cant eat, I just think of BTS, my bias V who is drop dead gorgeous...I'm consuming so much content and trying to keep my uplifted feeling going. Its so strange because I feel this way with a withdrawal and come down, but I also feel like my eyes are now open again. Its all because of them, their music, lyrics that hit me hard. Im so grateful that I saw them and the Pisces in me tells me it was meant to be. 💜

I dont know what I'm even asking really....I'm just emotional, liberated, heartbroken and hopeful all at the same time.

Any advice? How long will this come down last...