Authoritarian personality and arbitrary norm enforcement

Some people seem obsessed with “right ways of doing things” and rigidly hold onto certain ideas of how things should be without ever questioning them, always acting like things like this can never be wrong and as if anyone diverging is a heretic, although it does not logically follow. Some norms, followed blindly, may also be useful for the wealthier classes, which is dangerous and you may be putting your own personal security at risk over, what, being a part of the group, looking diligent or conscientious, showing your worth, or what? Now, I get sunk cost fallacy exists, but you literally can change your ways right now and not have that feeling of sunken cost. It is genuinely a choice to not behave like that.

And it would not even be an issue if they didn’t perform what I call “arbitrary norm policing/enforcement”, where, for some reason, they get angry and anxious, even feeling threatened, over norm deviations. Stuff like “that is not how we do things”, “that is the wrong way”, “you should do it this way or I will get rid of you”, “you should show you care and that you look like someone”. Like, do some people not comprehend other people have divergent minds and do not care about normative acceptance? If they cared, they would take care to look like “someone”. It is not a dysfunction nor a failure of being human. Some people may have completely rational reasons as to why they reject norms and standards and milestones. Some may dislike structure or find structure to be dangerous and potentially self-destructive if, say, traditionalist hierarchical structure is accepted blindly. Yes, this may require more cognitive effort and reduce cognitive resources elsewhere, but some of us are fiercely defensive of our autonomy and our own liberty, and as such may dislike the feeling of being enslaved by norms that seem like they were made in the name of upper classes to put you in your place and to define your worth by your diligence to the system.

And so, we come to the hatred of others. The “orderly” types dislike deviances, as mentioned before. They have really rigid and strict definitions of what is right, so a goth, a colored hair person, a gay person living their lives, a transgender person, a person of different race, whatever, to them causes anxiety. They cannot handle it, as their mind almost works like a rigidly programmed code that crashes when script does not have a code for that novel “borderline case scenario”. They say “do not touch what you do not understand”. Great, but what if I do understand why it exists? What if I find it disgusting and dangerous and self-sabotaging? What if I do not want a perfect society if that perfection requires such self-sacrifice that you do not ever feel joy?

It feels like anywhere you go, people try to manipulate how you feel about stuff. Like, say, “your goal in life should not be joy”. What should it be then if we are creatures of stimulation systems? Why would I purposely reduce my joy? Or “you should obey and love your parents”, as if feeling something is something that you can enforce on others. Love is a deserved and intuitive feeling, love isn’t something you can just enforce like that. Or this obedience thing… why would I put myself at risk of abuse like that? Yes, I am guarded, but the guard serves its purpose.

Anyhow, I do not know. It feels like some people do it cause they feel extremely insulted or threatened by norm deviation. Maybe it is cause they feel like they are less worthy if something else is accepted. Maybe it makes them feel uselessly diligent, an arbitrary thing they calculated on to make them look worthy to the group. Maybe they are angry and egocentric. Maybe they lack any ability to construct internal identity. Idk. Maybe they are scared that if things continue this way, in 20-30 years they will be useless to society with their current identity. But I cannot fall for cohesion arguments and stuff or explain it in nice, non-ego focused ways as it feels like it is all so arbitrary and I do not see how the world is degenerating, falling apart or whatever the words are. It is only explainable by your image of the world being… everyone being a cog in the machine and being happy with it. But I cannot. Cause of my personality. It is what it is.