Am I the problem or was I being negged?

So I kinda almost fell for the whole I’m so obsessed with you blah blah whatever I think… I was talking to this guy and he was kinda lovebombing me and stuff, I brought up maybe visiting him or something, he’s like “I’m not out to my parents is that a dealbreaker” I’m like… Not unless you’d be super paranoid about it and we could never go out. He just kept on harping on the parents thing as if I expected him to introduce me tomorrow. After we cleared up that he doesn’t have to do that yet, we kinda stopped arguing but he was kinda cold from then on.

A bit after he’s like “sorry I was being like that”, but then I’m like to myself ‘what’s the big deal anyway like does he think i don’t pass that much, why would it be a big deal whether he’s out?’ so i ask him like face wise, does he think ppl are gonna notice, would he notice. he’s like “yeah” and i was like why, and he said “bone structure”… and i was thinking like is he serious, like this is terrible news for you to be delivering to me so flippantly. i’m starting to get the impression he’s speaking to me thinking like, “this is my man boyfriend”. so… i started spiraling and he was like no don’t be upset and im like you know what dont say anything else ur not helping. in the spiral i asked reddit if i pass as a last ditch effort.

next morning i wake up and im like, ‘well i dont see this supposed man bone structure on my face so why should i get so worked up about it’, you know? i told him like im fine now bc i realised i don’t agree even if he thinks that, and he’s like “i never said you have to agree” and kinda passive aggressive. im like i couldn’t be with someone who sees me as a man, and he’s like go find someone who doesn’t then and that was that i blocked him.

so now im just thinking, why was he like that to me? idk like it just felt very insensitive and like he enjoyed telling me that i don’t pass, idk surely someone seeing you like that, even if you’re early in your transition, cannot result in a healthy relationship? or am i asking too much? it feels obvious but now im doubting myself