Feels like loneliness is the only constant

I (25 F) was diagnosed with autism at the age of 23. Initially there was the relief - there's nothing inherently wrong with me, who I am is just informed by this disorder etc etc. Then came the grief, followed by absolute burnout, and finally very slow moving attempts at being in a somewhat regulated space.

Fast forward to now, I'm 25, I have a stable job, most of my friends / support system are aware of me being autistic, and for the most part try to be conscious / considerate of it. The one thing though, that continues to eat at me is how the loneliness never seems to go away.

When I was young, it felt like I just couldn't keep friends for whatever reasons you know. i was annoying, I was too emotionally disregulated, maybe I was just too unlikeable. Throughout my college I spent time just trying to be likeable and fitting in, but the feeling that at the end of the day it'll just be me - that feeling never went away.

Now, I have best friends who have been in my life for a decade, I'm in a 6 year long relationship, but I still feel really lonely. I'm in a long distance relationship, my friends have their own partners, and while they do make time for me, it kind of just feels like if push came to shove I think it'd just be me left on my own.

I've done everything they tell neutorypical folks to do - I have hobbies to fill up my time, I talk to my friends regularly, I socialise with people at work. I'm not lacking in my efforts.

But I don't know how to articulate that this loneliness just persists you know? And it's not situational, it's just there, it has always been. Kind of just feels autism is supposed to be an alienating experience and there might be some respite, but there is no way out. I've spent so much of my life wanting friends that it feels ungrateful to talk to friends about loneliness persisting.

Sorry for the rant, i don't know what else to do.