[Advice] Set a firm boundary with a flirty coworker who snapped at me under stress. Did I kill the attraction, or increased it?
There’s a girl at work, and we have a very obvious, unspoken mutual attraction. She’s always lingering at my desk, making strong eye contact, and finding excuses to break the touch barrier (touching my arm/shoulder). We haven't crossed any lines officially, but the tension is heavy.
The Situation:
This Friday, she was scrambling with a high-priority deadline and asked me for a massive favor to help her fix a problem. I went out of my way, figured out the solution, and called her over to my desk to show her how to handle it.
As I was walking her through it, she suddenly got super impatient, sighed heavily, and snapped, "Can you just speed this up? I don't have all day to sit here."
The Boundary:
I immediately stopped what I was doing, looked her dead in the eye, and said calmly, "Hey, don't speak to me with that tone."
She immediately got defensive and tried to justify it: "I'm just incredibly stressed about this deadline right now."
I didn't let her off the hook. I told her, "I get that, but I'm doing you a favor. If you're going to catch an attitude, you can figure it out yourself." I then turned back to my screen and completely cut off the interaction.
The Fallout:
She completely shut down. She walked away, eventually found someone else to help her, and put her earbuds in for the rest of the afternoon. She completely dropped the flirty persona, gave me the cold shoulder, and eventually left for the weekend without saying a word to me.
-Did I completely blow it and kill the vibe by being too harsh, or does holding a firm boundary like this actually increase attraction
-Is her ghosting me at the end of the day a sign that she's genuinely turned off
Lastly, what do you guys expect happens next time I see her, and what should I do if she didn’t come talk to me and decide to distant herself from me
Posted Jul 11, 2026, 1:20 PM UTC