So I am rejected for even being friend? Or is it a test or something?

Your other thing was good, but that one moment... you might've antar manter or something. I'm obsessed with your face now. I was too shy to even say hi. Couldn't even say "nice weather, isn't it?" even though it was goddamn freezing.

I'm so depressed, so nonchalant on the outside, but so invested now. The only thing I look forward to is seeing you at Green Bar maybe your favorite color is green too. But what about you? You could just tell me to my face, right? "I'm not interested in you, please don't try." Or anything. Just say it. We both know what's going on. You're trying so hard to avoid me now. Maybe I'm living rent-free in your head too, because in mine it's just you. Everything keeps failing for you too, because it's never you and me. It's always something else deciding our fate.

I'm probably gonna stay single forever. Nobody likes me. My face feels like a curse. I'm broke too, but at least I'm trying to make my life better. Ever since I got into you, it even feels wrong to walk away from you. Why? Because one day it feels like you're seeing how far I'll go just to get a little closer, then the next day it feels like you're completely angry with me. Like I'm gonna eat you if you stand too close. Trust me, I'm strong mentally. Emotionally? Not even close.

I'm tired of whatever this open situation is. If you think this is wrong, just tell me. If you think I'm being weird, communicate with me. Talk to me, even if you're shy. The last message was from me. And yeah, sorry for the late replies, but when you're standing right in front of me, I just can't speak. You feel... above me somehow. Like you're on a different level.

Please God, give me a potion that makes me emotionless. Make me a devil if you want, I don't care anymore but why the fk I have to be attracted towards someone who don't even care to reply properly? WHY WHY WHY????

I know you are going to read this. I know we are like minded, we have so many things to talk about. Just try once, please. Not every person who loves is stupid. Just come to my dms with your new reddit account to check me, really i will even identify with your reddit account...