Awkward rant/vent ^^

I don't usually post on here because I'm always worried I'll sound corny, but I'm gonna try anyway. (^_^;)

I'm F15 (turning 16 in a few days), and I dated someone who was genuinely awful. He cheated on me multiple times over the course of a couple of years before I finally left. The last girl he cheated on me with ended up having some weird issue with me for absolutely no reason and has been harassing me for over a year now. She constantly stalks my social media and posts about me.

The thing is... I don't actually feel jealous of her looks or personality. I don't mean this in a rude or arrogant way, but I don't think that's what bothers me. What I am jealous of is her life. She seems to have so many friends, she's always going out, making memories, and meanwhile I just feel like such a loser.

I think because she kept obsessively checking everything I posted, I started doing the same back out of anxiety, just wanting to know what she was saying about me. Now it's turned into something much worse where I just end up making myself feel miserable by comparing our lives.

It's honestly embarrassing to admit, but I get so depressed seeing how social she is while I've never really been able to keep long-term friendships or stay in friend groups. I also struggle with severe agoraphobia, so going out and meeting people feels impossible most of the time.

probably sounds like such a silly thing to be so upset over, but I just wanted to get it off my chest. :')