I got in a relationship with an avoidant. We moved very fast, went on plenty of dates . he was opening up to me, we were very happy things were going perfect. Now i see he love bombed me..  It started off as just dates and fooling around, when he said on a night out to me  that he loves me and doesnt want anybody else. We became official. 

We never had sex all the months together but were sexual in other ways and talking every day  for hours. I loved him back,  I was finally in a normal relationship but 3 months in he starts to push me away. He aplogised for not being there for me, blamed his mental health that he isnt happy with himself... he is working too much has no privacy at home.  he stopped making plans to see me  he said his sex drive is low, he is struggling with himself and the pressure in work, his body, the relationship even tho I didn't pressure him. I was very relaxed. I shown him u cared as much as I could. 

I always checked on him  I was patient  listened to him. We had a date finally after a month, and it was lovely  we did something he wanted to do  I was happy to do that as he had done things for me. However a week or so later I wanted to take him to dinner to see him and he couldnt do it, like it was a struggle to leave the house.. so i cancelled. He said he still feels how he does for me but hates when he gets in these low moods. A week after he said he wants to break up to focus on himself as he couldnt do what I deserved. I kept trying to help him and be there for him  but it was as if it made him feel worse about himself cause he wasnt being the man we want him to be. Everybody was saying from the start he would sabotage it. 

He has done it before and he had been with abusive women so its what he was used to so that I was being sweet and understanding, doing everything I could for him  scared him? When he was down on himself I picked him up, when he was sick I took care of him  anything sexual he liked I'd do or we talked about it but nothing happened. He was getting insecure spending all his free time at the gym or working  like I was too much for him? I was patient, we agreed that when he works on himself he will come back to me. That he still loves me and knows im too good for him,  when he is ready to be commited we will as right now he doesnt feel ready. we stayed friends but even then we weren't... the feelings were there  he was awkward around me. He ghosted me for weeks  his friends were trying to keep us apart, too, my friends were telling me to move on but I cant. I got so attached to him...his words got to me how he was with me, he was romantic and opening up. We ended up sleeping together while broken up. Its not something he does, even his friends have told me this so its a big thing and days after we were fine  having a good time, he was talking to me about his life,  the trauma, his family... as he had a death in his family and told me before others and I was supporting him the whole time. But almost 2 weeks I didnt hear anything from him.. I gave him space as I do that I eventually reached out to check on how he is with the family etc...and he aplogised for being distant told me about his life atm but he never asked how I was  nor about what I have going on  we havent discussed that we slept together, nothing serious apart from himself. He doesnt say much to anyone  but with me he would say a lot and we would talk for hours then maybe a day or 2 he would go quiet  focus on work, find distractions..however i found out he is on a dating app, his own friend told me. I found it myself, my heart sank and he was active but when i first saw the account he wasnt active, only 2 days ago it shown active. Ik he is talking to women on there as someone had told me he messaged them. She shown me screenshots  playing the victim  blaming others but admitted he did sabotage his last relationship  meaning me but was pushing for relationships with strangers on a dating app. Why would he break up with me, when everything was perfect? Say he wants to focus on himself getting better for himself but also for me? Sleep with me, say he loves me but then talk on a dating app saying things he told me, love bombing them   but is it an ego boost he wants to get attention from other women when I am here  ive done everything I can for him, I havent been interested in any other men, I turn any man  who asks me out down. I just dont understand, I was perfect for him  I was there for him and everybody from my side and from his side is saying he wanted the relationship but when it got real he got scared and ruined it. Now its hard to talk to him even more so since I feel used and he will get his supply elsewhere then come back to me when hes ready? But I feel scared. I want him and I love him and miss him but hes also disappointed me  hurt me and now i dont know what to think anymore..if he lied to me about his feelings his actions make me think he didnt lie because why would he when I was only wanting fun?

 He wanted the relationship then backed away? I need some advice here from an outsider who doesnt know him or know me because I am understanding what I can from him. I feel im losing myself in the process he has encouraged me to do what I want and was romantic and loving to then being cold and pushing me away. I do feel used but also keep thinking about what he has said to me and I dont want to lose faith in him tho recently he is pushing me away. I 

I feel scared and confused with what my avoidant is doing