how do i stop this relationship dynamic?

i love my boyfriend, i really do. but i'm exhausted from our relationship. he's the most amazing partner i've ever had in every aspect, but lately i've been thinking about our dynamic, his behaviour and evaluating my feelings.

a few days ago i arrived at his place 10 minutes late after going out with a friend and he demanded me to proof why i arrived late by showing him my phone, the uber app ride, to show him the route the car followed. he then searched for traffic reports online on my route and 'no traffic jam was reported so i must been lying' about the time i took the uber. i tried to explain to him that it's just ten minutes and he can't invade my privacy like that, he kept on calling me a liar and kept on dismissing my 'proof' of why i arrived ten minutes late. i got fed up, shouted at him that he had no right to be like that and left. i walked around his block and thought about things, i felt guilty for my behaviour, so i went back to his place to talk things through. he was giving me the cold shoulder, he wanted to kick me out. i nonstop apologized for getting fed up and leaving, and he said what i did was way worse than what he did, that if i had been patient he would have eventually understood that what he did was wrong, but my ego is so big that i prefer to make up a fight and leave before being kind and explaining things to him. he told me i have rage issues. he never apologized for what he did and put all the blame on me.

the days following i felt so humilliated. why did i apologize? why do i feel like i owe him? this is not new. we've discussed this before.

a few days back i had a really important exam. i asked for time by myself to study but he said we can be in the same room while i study so we spend time together. i asked to be by myself because i wanted to focus, but he accused me of not wanting to spend time with him. i agreed and stayed at his place. that morning he wasn't letting me focus, i told him to please let me focus or else i'd have to go to the library. he kept on and i eventually went to the library. he got angry at me for going to the library, said that i'm not patient with him, that my ego is too big and that if i cared about the relationship i'd be by his side no matter what.

he wanted to make me apologize for going to the library. i refused. this led into an all day long fight. i know that the more i apologize for small things, the more he'll want. at night he called me crying asking me why can't i just apologize. 'if you cared about me you'd apologize just to stop the fight, even if you think that what you did it's not worth apogizing for. you have a massive ego and think of apologizing as submission'. the thing is that there's always something to apologize for, and he always makes it look like i owe him. when there's nothing to apologize for it's because i'm acting just the way he wants.

we agreed to go to the gym together (he's been going daily by himself for five years). a few days ago my grandma got sick -nothing serious- and i had to fly back home. i decided to stay a few days more than i originally planned to to be with my family. he told me he was disappointed in me for missing the gym and that i can't hold any promises and i'm not reliable.

i. always. owe. him. when i agreed to go to the gym i asked him please not to track macros and calories because i have a history of anorexia and bulimia, and he told me that i'd make no progress like that and that i was being irrational. no matter how much i explain it to him, he dismissed my past issues and called me irrational. it reached a point where i just said 'no. i won't track my calories. i'm mot interested'. he got mad and demanded that i apologize for 'wasting his time and efforts'. he told me i should be thankful for having someone by my side giving me guidance, but my ego is so big and i'm so ungrateful that i'm willing to waste my chance out of irrational fears.

he always mentions the ego thing. he's always pointing out how if i didn't have such massive ego then we wouldn't fight. i don't know if my ego is massive or not. everytime i refuse to do something he wants it's my ego. the gym routine has been horrible. he goes monday to friday, if i want to see family or go out with friends there's always the 'are you wasting your progress at the gym?' 'how can i trust you as a partner ir you're unreliable in going to the gym' 'are you going to miss it another day'? he also doesn't let me work out in peace. he doesn't want me to work out by myself because 'i'll do it wrong'. if i refuse or say i want to work out by myself he will say 'i'm missing my shot to do it right and wasting his time and potential, many guys would be thankful to have him as a boyfriend'. it makes me insecure. it makes me feel ungrateful. it makes me feel like i owe him going with him.

he has told me repeatedly to break my ego and let him take control of the relationship. that means not getting bothered by things, if i do i must tell him politely, with patience, with a smile and with a good attitude.

i feel a bit exhausted sometimes. lately he told me he doesn't want to be around me because i don't have the best attitude. i feel down and i'm unable to feel happy. i act happy and cheerful around him because not doing so would mean him calling me out on not looking happy or energetic enough. but it feels like acting. i can't keep up. he's too demanding, there's always something to apologize for, there's always a reason for me to not go out, there's always something making me feel like i owe him.

i think he's kind hearted, that he means well and that he's good. but he's controlling. i want to make him understand that and i want to help him heal. please help me