Our latest addition has bonded with my partner but won’t let me close to him

New to Cats/Just Adopted

Our latest addition is 2 years old. He has been with us for about 2 months now and is acclimatising well to his new home. He has gotten to the stage where he follows me like my shadow and is curious enough to want to observe what I’m doing at all times, but he refuses to let me pet him. When I put my hand near him to let him sniff me, he sniffs me, refuses to make eye contact then runs off. With my partner however, he’s completely at home. He starts meowing at him the moment he walks into the room, and actively begs for pets and loves his attention, even accepting belly rubs and cheek scritches.

We keep feeding 50/50 so we both get equal opportunity to show him that we love him and care about him, and I play with him when he seems bored, so I’m not sure why he’s still not fond of me. I have also been throwing down some Dreamies any time he is brave enough to come sniff my hand while I’m at my computer, or if he sits down next to me on the sofa, to reinforce that I’m safe and that he’s doing a good job for being brave around me. The only thing I can imagine is I have long nails, so maybe he sees it as a threat when I put my hand down near him.

I’m hoping this is just a matter of time, but I can’t help but take it personally to an extent because of how quickly he has bonded with my partner. Is there anything I can do to help him feel safe and happy around me?

Posted Jul 11, 2026, 1:25 PM UTC

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