Suprising mindset

I'm at 1 month after being dumped.

I've entered no contact since 1 week after sending a long ass message saying i don't wanna support her mixed signals and push pull anyway and that even if i love her with all my heart, i won't wait for someone not wanting me. She then deleted me from all socials but kept message.

After that she blocked me on 1 of her 2 instagram accounts 3 days after the day she asked for space.

Today, i'm obviously sad, feeling a big void, life is just less fun and i miss her. But i don't feel anytime the need to send her a text or to have a contact. Of course I am anxious about her replacing me, putting someone at what used to be my spot and her moving on so fast after telling she loved me, that we will reunite later and all that shit.

But the only thing that's left, is a big feeling of regret. Not about the relationship. But after. I'm so in pain that I begged, cried,negotiated, even the last big message to go away ? I wanted to just have disappeared. And i don't know how to live day by day with the image of myself I gave to her.