Married Former FUBU Refuses to Address Intimate Videos and Threatens Case When Confronted

My sister (23) is trying to get assurance that intimate videos in the possession of her former FUBU (32) have been permanently deleted. Her main goal is to protect her privacy, avoid any future misuse of the videos, and move on with her life.

A few months ago, my sister entered into what she believed was a purely casual arrangement with a man. During that time, intimate videos of her were recorded, including some that she did not consent to. She later discovered that he was married, something he never disclosed to her. Had she known he was married from the beginning, she would not have continued the relationship.

After learning the truth, she wanted to end the relationship immediately. However, because he still had the videos, she continued communicating with him solely to obtain assurance that they had been deleted. She was afraid that cutting off all contact would leave her with no way of knowing what happened to the recordings.

Whenever she asked for proof that the videos had been permanently deleted, he avoided the question, changed the subject, or made excuses. Over time, his behavior became increasingly hostile. Instead of addressing her concerns, he insulted her, cursed at her, blamed her for remaining involved after learning he was married, and repeatedly shifted responsibility away from himself.

Before his behavior became openly hostile, he also repeatedly tried to convince my sister to continue the relationship despite knowing she wanted to end it after discovering he was married. He often sought sympathy by discussing his personal problems, particularly his relationship with his child. He would tell my sister that he was not being allowed to see his child and use those circumstances to gain sympathy and emotional support. Rather than respecting her decision to leave, he frequently used these personal struggles as a way to keep her emotionally engaged and maintain contact.

My sister eventually told him that she intended to inform his wife about what had happened. She later spoke directly to the wife, but the wife appeared to turn a blind eye to the situation and did not seem interested in addressing her husband's conduct. After this, the husband's behavior became even more aggressive.

Most recently, he threatened to file a case against my sister because she told him she would inform his wife and mutual friends about his refusal to provide proof that the videos had been deleted. Her intention was never to harass, blackmail, or threaten him. She simply wanted accountability and reassurance that the recordings would not be used against her in the future.

Another concern is that this man appears to have a history of substance use, including marijuana and possibly other drugs. While I cannot independently verify the extent of his substance use, it adds to my sister's concerns because his behavior has become increasingly unpredictable and hostile. He also knows where our family lives, which has made her anxious about her safety and privacy. Although he has not made any direct threats to come to our home, the combination of his hostility, possession of the videos, and knowledge of our address has left her feeling intimidated and fearful of retaliation.

What worries my sister most is that the videos seem to have become a form of leverage. She feels trapped because she wants to protect herself and move forward, but she is afraid that taking any action could provoke him into sharing, distributing, or posting the videos online. The possibility of retaliation is the main reason she has been so careful about how she handles the situation.

We have repeatedly asked for proof that the videos were permanently deleted. His only response was to send screenshots showing that no videos or photos were visible in his phone's gallery. Unfortunately, this does not provide much reassurance because screenshots of a gallery do not prove permanent deletion. The files could still exist in cloud storage, backups, another device, a computer, an external drive, another account, or somewhere online.

At this point, my sister is simply trying to protect her privacy, preserve evidence, and understand the safest way to move forward. Her biggest concern is ensuring that the videos cannot be used against her in the future and that she can finally put this situation behind her.