Being honest

One of the weirdest parts about leaving the Church of Christ is feeling like the group still has control over your mind. It feels like every thought and every decision is filtered through what they taught you. They insist that they are the ones who have the truth, and it can be incredibly difficult to untangle yourself from that mindset.
Sometimes I wonder how I became so angry at these people. I used to see them as my brothers and sisters in Christ. At one point, I would have done anything for them. Now I find myself struggling just to think about them without feeling frustrated or hurt. It’s strange how quickly your view of people can change from “I love these people” to “I don’t know how to forgive them.”
Sometimes I feel like a bad person for being so angry because I know I was sincere. But being sincere doesn’t mean I wasn’t hurt.
I also worry that I’ve become more bitter than I want to be. I don’t yell at anyone, and I hardly even talk about it. I just wish I had more empathy for them than I do right now. Maybe that will come with time, but at the moment, I’m still trying to process everything.