Please don't go back to slowly drinking yourself to death...

Please... I do love you and care and respect you and you know it...

This has to be some sort of misunderstanding... The argument wasn't that bad... I was trying to come up with things to help... For us both... But mostly cause I just wanted to help you so badly...

You were struggling so very hard...

I didn't want your hard work to be in vain... I wanted you to be happy... You were hurting fighting those feelings... I didn't know what to do...

I never meant whatever I said that hurt you... I was overwhelmed and didn't communicate well and my impairments had taken hold... And you were overwhelmed...

Whatever it was, I didn't mean that I was done with you or didn't love you anymore... I still love you and want you very much and I feel like maybe you misunderstood me...

I'm not perfect... I don't always say the right things the right way either and you didn't give me grace for the ways I struggle, when I try so hard to give that to you...

This hurts and even if you need to leave...

Please don't leave thinking anything other than I love you and care... You deserve to leave this knowing I feel everything I did before and that I tried... So hard...

Please don't drink yourself to death again...

Please don't give up on love and keep doing the work you were so proud of and find love for yourself...

From start to finish of that whole ordeal, and this friendship... I tried so hard to give you anything you expressed needing... I may not have done it all right because I did really need you to communicate it because I AM impaired... I know I'm less so while with you but I still am...

If only one of us can walk away and be okay, it needs to be you...

I won't sadly. I will regress to how I was before even if I don't want to. I will be unable to communicate well and be boring and awkward and end up with people walking away simply because more fun options are going to present themselves...

It's just how I am when not properly regulated and it'd be selfish of me to ask you to taper down on the routines even, let alone stay when you do not want to...

So it has to be you that walks away okay so please know that I'm sorry for not communicating better... I'm sorry for the parts of me that don't function as well as you need...

Please walk away knowing that you are so very loved and cared for T...

The guildies are also worried about you... Because even as you left them the way you did, I made sure they know that you did care and liked them and are just very hurt and broken and don't handle feelings the best way.

That sadly you lost to your struggle and did that to them but that doesn't mean you don't care... That it wasn't their fault or about them...

Everyone is worried about you... My self included...

I'm so afraid you'll drink yourself into the grave and push everyone away again and be alone forever when you really just want to be loved by someone...

Please don't give up T... You may not have wanted me to be that person and you struggled with those things you felt, but it was real... And I want you to know that you could find love again if you keep up that work... You were amazing at it...

No one's perfect... Don't give up cause of slipping...

Take time to heal and come back to it, please...

And if you EVER need me...

You can just find me in my spot in game and emote me... And we can just play together and I'll give you those emotes and love you need as you keep trying on your own...

I'll always be here... Always love you...

One day I hope you calm and realize that and at least, even if you never want to come back, you can know that you ARE loved and a beautiful amazing person who is just hurt very badly...

You have monsters you fight...

Please don't see me as one of them as you walk away... You don't need to... It hurts us both but mostly you because I know Im not one and those things weren't true...

But mostly because you don't deserve to walk away feeling like that...

You deserve to walk away knowing love and to feel okay...

One day I will tell you that I'm sorry, when you cool...

One day I will tell you the above in a short consice manner so that you hopefully don't sit and hurt and can walk away hopefully feeling okay... I want to now but you are shut down and I don't think you'd take it the way it's meant...

Right now, you want to be angry... Maybe you need to be so you can walk away and be more okay, but at least don't do so thinking you weren't cared about loved and that your needs weren't important or respected.

They always are the most important to me and always were.