My 17 year old

So to sum it up:

Kid is 17

Divorced parents who don't really get along but are pretty much on the same page for this one issue

A really good kid most of the time

TLDR; kid took off to a different state for 2 days and lied about it. Got caught halfway through and kept lying. So many lies. Need appropriate punishment ideas for both the lying and the other irresponsible decision making.

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So last week my kid said to me she was going to a concert in the city we live in the suburbs of. She was very clear to me about where, and with whom she was going. Fine, no problem. This is normal for her. Her other parent asked where she was going and she just walked away instead of answering.

Later on that night the other parent asked me to check her location because it was suspicious that she didn't want to answer. She knows I have her location but she also knows I don't really pay attention to it most of the time because I trust her. She's several states away in NYC. Note: this is not the first time she has been caught in a different state from where she was supposed to be. Nor the second. In the past it has been somewhere not too far and has been forgiven after a stern talk about responsibility.

So her other parent called to ask where she was and she admitted NYC. Acted all sorry, apologized, said she understood why someone needs to know where she is, she just really wanted to go to this concert and she was scared we would say no (note: no reason to think this, we probably would not have said no to a concert in NYC. It wouldn't be the first she went to there). This was like 10pm so they asked what she was planning to do when her curfew came around and she was still hours away. Oh, she was just going to tell them she decided to stay at her friend we will call "Anne"'s house. Anne lives locally and we know her well. Daughter often will call when she's out and ask if she can stay the night at her friend's at the last second. It's generally fine because we would rather that than have her taking public transit super late as she doesn't drive. Of course this situation has us second guessing all of that now. She told me the same thing: she was staying at Anne's house. Ok. We figured we would have a talk when she gets home. Her other parent was still a little suspicious because this whole thing was just so weird, so immediately after hanging up with her the other parent called her back wanting to talk to Anne directly. Daughter never answered the call. Other parent texted her a couple times telling her to call asap. No response. Other parent asked me to check her location in the morning because this did not feel right.

Next morning I check her location. Still in NYC. At a hotel. A hotel with a minimum check in age of 21. Note: Anne is 17 like her, as far as we knew, all her friends are 16-18. We say nothing to her. Other parent texts to remind her she had a doctor appt at 4 that day and asked when she would be home. She finally replies at 11:30 saying she is on her way (from supposedly the next town over, which should have been 20 min bus/train ride). Silence until 3:30 when she tells the other parent she's getting off the train. Of course I was following her location the whole time and she never even left NYC until like an hour after she was "on her way".

She gets to the other parent's house and the other parent just tells her to get in the car because they're now late for the doctor appointment. She acts like everything is fine. Other parent, on the drive to the appointment, simply asked her why it took so long to get home. Her answer was some excuse about delayed transit or something. Her other parent just says we know more than she thinks and she had better start telling the truth. Daughter starts getting mad as if they have no reason to question her. She finally starts telling little bits of the truth. She said some things that made no sense. LOTS more lies. Many different versions of the slowly evolving story. So her other parent asks what bands played at the concert. She hesitated... a lot. This is weird as it was supposedly someone she wanted to see sooooo badly, and either way she's super into music and generally knows who she's seeing. So they told her to cut the shit and just tell them what was going on. She finally admitted there was no concert, she was just hanging out in NYC with some "friends" whom she had only met once and lived on the west coast. The other parent asked how old these friends are. She still won't admit they're over 18 even though we still know that's a lie since they couldn't check in to the hotel otherwise

Anyway, the other parent ended up telling her not to make plans for a few days until the 3 of us can all discuss it. I've never seen the other parent as mad as they were about this. Now kid is at my house and I've not said anything to her about it other than her asking if she could go out and me saying "nope, no going out until after we discuss what happened earlier this week", which she accepted with a simple "ok"

*some minor details changed for anonymity

So, help me Reddit: what is the appropriate punishment here. I've gotta discuss this with the other parent this weekend. Any suggestions help!