ED, Gummies, Honey Packs, and Porn but not for me

Last night I initiated with my husband. He flat out said no. He didn’t feel like it. I left the room feeling defeated. Later he comes in the living room and tells me he wasn’t rejecting me. He just didn’t take his gummies or whatever the fuck he needs to get hard. I asked him if he wanted to try without them. No. He doesn’t want the embarrassment of failing to perform or the pressure. He told me he had been taking the gummies and honey packs consistently for years and he gets so horny on them but he would rather just rub one out to porn than deal with the pressure to perform with me. This is fucking miserable.

This morning I fantasized about cheating on him.